Please be aware that adult topics are contained in this article.
I’ve reviewed the books out from the Duggar family, and their show, and have talked about things that I agree with from their beliefs, and things I disagree with. This article really isn’t about the wedding itself, so if you are hoping for some new tidbit of information from Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard’s nuptial day, look elsewhere. What this article is about is actually the reactions I’ve read around the ‘net about Jill, dating, kissing, sex, and such, that have been expressed as a result of this wedding.
For those of you who don’t follow the Duggars, one of their daughters got married this week, and it was a big deal in the realm of reality TV followers. Jill Duggar married Derick Dillard after a swift courtship and engagement. “Quirks” about their relationship: 1) They met by being introduced by Jill’s Dad,and both families were involved in their respective “kid’s” interactions with each other. 2) They courted, they did not date. 3) Their courtship and engagement were very short, they married quickly. 4) They did not hold hands until the proposal. 5) They saved their first kiss until their wedding day. 6) Which obviously means no sex before they were married. 7) Jill had a beautiful dress purchased at a mainstream store.
Isaiah 5:20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
Jill and Derick followed their personal beliefs (they are both adults in their 20’s capable of making their own choices) when it comes to modesty and purity in their relationship, leading up to the wedding, and at the wedding itself. What shocked me wasn’t their choices, but the world’s reaction to their choices. Isaiah was spot on for today’s society. All logic is gone, and morality has been flipped on its head.
1) The family was involved in introducing Jill and Derick. Who cares? How many people out there of all backgrounds were introduced by family and friends? A lot. The other aspect is a bit different than the norm, but makes a lot of sense to me; their families were involved in the courtship. When they would go somewhere, a family member or a friend went with them. Why? Because it is a lot easier to be overwhelmed when we are attracted to someone when we are alone where hormones kick in and you may do something you’ll regret. Also, they actually cared about the opinions of their family. The world laughs at this. The world mocks purity, mocks safety, mocks wise counsel.
2 and 3) Courtship vs. dating. Courtship is a bit more serious than dating, though it isn’t engagement. The world mocks anything that doesn’t embrace multiple partners for anything; dating, kissing, sex on demand… How dare a couple actually “date with a purpose,” and that purpose being seriously looking for a mate and not giving anything away for free to someone who may not feel the same as you. They met, they courted, they fell in love, they got engaged and got married. People of the world started attacking them for getting married so quickly, acting as though that is dooming them to an unhappy marriage. Hmm…. perhaps they are looking at their own 1st, 2nd, and 3rd marriages making a “common sense” judgment call? I found it funny when people that married far faster did have the guts to speak up and talk about being happily married, sometimes for 60 plus years.
4 and 5) No hand holding until engagement, no kissing until married. Wow, this is where we see all morality flipped on its head. People mocked these beliefs outright… ok, I get it. It is different, it is strict, and it could be legalistic. However, there was another line of thinking and mocking that left me dumbfounded. That was when they were ridiculed because they held hands too intensely. Read that sentence again. They were then mocked after their engagement that their hand holding was too sexual. Wait… what? People talking about how many people they slept with before marriage suddenly turn and call Jill and Derick all kinds of names because they enjoyed holding hands too much. No, I’m not joking.
Kissing. They saved their first kiss for their wedding day. You know when the preacher, priest, pastor, etc… says “you may now kiss your bride?” For the majority of human history, this was indeed permission to do something you had never done. So, they waited. I think it’s awesome, while I fully admit in our culture it is totally foreign. Jill complimented her husband on his kissing ability, and the world mocks her asking “how would she know?” Besides the evil in men’s hearts, all I can think that would cause people to be so bitter is jealousy. By the time most young people get to their wedding day, they’ve given everything physical away to someone who is not their spouse. I’m not judging it, but when someone doesn’t do that, they are attacked. Good=evil and evil=good.
6) Sex. Abstinence. Suddenly sleeping around, hooking up, one night stands are cool, and waiting for someone you love that you are going to be with til death is mocked. Fantastic. STD’s, broken hearts, unplanned pregnancies, memories you can’t get rid of… all of these things and more are not enough to get some people to understand why it may be good to practice self-control. Further, Jill is training to be a midwife. She attends and directs births all the time. Yet, she’s mocked and ridiculed for being sheltered from sex. Haha. It’s true. It’s laughable. The world has made a turn, and it isn’t a good one. Rude and lewd remarks about her honeymoon night abound. Good=evil, evil=good.
7) The Duggars are mocked for their thrifty ways (they are debt free and have a good income). They are also mocked for spending money. Yeah… They were mocked for what they served at the reception for being “cheap” (they weren’t). They were then mocked when people found out that Jill had a special day at a mainstream bridal shop and paid for a private fitting and party in the shop while she picked out her dress and had it altered. They were called redneck hicks, then they were called elite snobs. Heh. Conservative non-conformists have a bulls-eye painted on them, and if you are a conservative non-conformist who believes in Christ, so do you. The Bible says it, and it’s is absolutely true. Regardless of if your beliefs look like theirs, if you really believe in Jesus, and you are a conservative who strives to do right based on your beliefs, you have a target painted on you. Persecution, ridicule, mockery, it is only set to get worse.
Again, I do not express our shared beliefs the same way the Duggars do, but I do believe in purity, family, modesty, self-control, financial stewardship, etc… and I wrote this article to draw attention to the state of the world even over something as simple and beautiful as two believers getting married. Please please please parents, teach your kids, read the word, resist the world, be in it but not of it. Look around and see what is happening to morality.